Run For Your Life! They Have PIES!
by Beardie Girl
Summary: What happens when the Assassins are bored and the authoress decides to annoy them? CHAOS. Bad Girl, somehow, gets her hands on pies, too. Rated T due to somewhat violent acts and censored swearing. Also contains breaking of the Fourth Wall and an appearance from a character from one of my favourite Anime. It also has the mentioning of a Shellos named Squishy.


**Hello, FanFictioners! Beardie Girl here having fun making characters from **_**No More Heroes**_** COMPLETELY out of character! I shall also have fun bleeping out every single curse word anyone makes! Same goes to you, Bad Girl!**

**Bad Girl: Don't make me send you to Hell, ya little brat!**

**Well, too bad! I've got bodyguards here who'll kick your backside to Hell and back ten times over! And don't make me get your father who'll threaten to send you to rehab due to your drinking issues!**

**Bad Girl: *Mutters something inaudible***

**What was that? Get on with the story? OK! Oh, I don't own No More Heroes and never will! T is owned by Suda51 and whoever the Hell helped him make the games. (I'm not very good with company names, ok?)**

Run For Your Life! They Have _Pies_!

It was a beautiful day in Santa Destroy. The sun was smiling down on the city, the sky lacking in cl- wait... that isn't right. It was a beautiful night in Santa Destroy, a few of our favourite Assassins were over-their-head _drunk _*CoughBadGirlDestroymanLet'zShakeandDestroymanCoug h* and had fun playing Truth or Dare... although there was the occasional outburst of violence from Bad Girl and Destroyman, who _didn't _agree with the rules of the game. Not one bit. In fact, Rank 4 and 2, Alice Twilight and Margaret Moonlight, had to stop them from ripping each other apart. They were forced to knock Destroyman unconscious, resulting in several happy cheers from a few other Assassins like Holly Summers or Let'z Shake.

Now after Bad Girl had time to cool off (by beating several dummies into submission), she sat by Margaret Moonlight. Both wore the Lolita style, with Bad Girl being the Sweet Lolita and Margaret being the Gothic Lolita. Their personalities completely contradict their personalities, though. Bad Girl is an over-her-head alcohol-loving nutcase of a girl whilst Margaret is anything _but _dark and morbid... unless you count her song _Philistine _as dark and morbid. _Anyway_, the Assassins were in their usual hangout, with Bad Girl's baseball bat well out of her reach. They were all bored out of their minds.

Bad Girl groaned, leaning back against the settee she and Margaret sat on. Alice sat behind them on the back of the settee, reading a book.

"I am going to _really_ hurt someone if you guys don't shut Let'z Shake up!" Bad Girl growled, wanting Let'z Shake to shut his mouth because he was rambling on about his latest invention... which everyone doubted would work.

Destroyman had recovered from being clobbered by his fellow Assassins, and was happily chugging on bottles and cans of alcohol. Bad Girl _really _wanted a beer... But everyone, mainly Margaret, threatened to tie her to a chair and make Destroyman drink beer very, _very _slowly in front of her.

Let'z Shake told a joke to Holly which fell completely flat... only for Destroyman to burst out laughing at the joke which he wouldn't find funny if he was sober.

"... I don't get it." Was all Holly had to say.

Bad Girl seized her chance whist everyone was distracted by Destroyman. She grabbed a few cans and bottles of beer and bolted out of the room.

"HEY! *Hic* That's- *hic* That's _my _ beer you little *_Beep*_" Destroyman's curse word was bleeped out. He blinked a few times. "WHAT THE *_BEEP*_?! WHY ARE MY SWEAR WORDS CENSORED?! THIS IS NO MORE HEROES FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! EVERYONE, EVEN _MARGARET_, SWEARS!"

And Destroyman just broke the Fourth Wall... That isn't a surprise. This place lacks the Fourth Wall.

"PUT A SOCK IN IT, AUTHORESS!"

**Don't make me get my Shellos of **_**Doom**_**! Who I nicknamed "Squishy"!**

"... You play Pokémon?" Margaret asked, also breaking the Fourth Wall.

**Nnnnnnoooooooooo...**

Suddenly, Rena Ryuuguu from Higurashi no Naku Koro ni burst through the door!

"THAT'S A LIE!" She screamed before slamming the door shut behind her.

**... Alright, who left the Portal to Other Dimensions of Awesome open? Because it **_**wasn't **_**me!**

"Shall we pretend that never happened?" Holly asked.

"Agreed." Everyone, minus Destroyman, replied.

Bad Girl strolled in, completely over-her-head _drunk_. She had, _somehow_, got her hands on another baseball bat.

***Suspiciously whistles, then says in sing-song voice.* I had nothing to do with it~! *Hides weapon cupboard keys behind back.***

She was also carrying a lot of custard pies.

"BATTER *Hic* _UP!_" She announced, tossing a pie in the air then slamming her bat against it as though it were a baseball. It flew through the air and hit Ryuji right in the face. Ryuji let out an annoyed growl, but managed to keep his temper under control.

One! No, two! Wait, three! Actually, _four_ pies flew through the air, hitting a bunch of Assassins in tha FACE. One pie had hit Alice's book right out of her hands.

"Oh, COME ON! I was at the best part!" Alice whined, completely out of character.

Margaret giggled at her sister, only to end with pie remains dumped on her head.

"HEY!"

Now it was Alice's turn to laugh.

Chas ensued. The Skelter brothers had fun tossing pie-covered pillows at each other, Margaret and Alice were hurling pie remains at other Assassins, Holly was ducking for cover, Let'z Shake was happily eating the pies that hurtled towards him, Destroyman was drunk, so he was covered in pie, some Assassins excused themselves from the scene and Bad Girl was practically _dying_ of drunken laughter... and the authoress pretends she had nothing to do with it.

Everything quieted down after a few hours of pie-hurling. Holly crept out of her hiding place to see the hangout was _covered_ in pie. Margaret and Alice had fallen asleep, back-to-back. Margaret was lightly singing lines from _Philistine _in her sleep, whilst Alice remained silent. Destroyman looked _really _ unhappy, Skelter-Helter and Helter-Skelter looked a bit tipsy, as though they had had a drink themselves, Bad Girl was in what can only be described as a drunken coma, Let'z Shake seemed to be drunk off pies... and the authoress just died of laughter.

**There you go! My first **_**No More Heroes**_** FanFic! It was pretty funny, if I say so myself! **

**Margaret: Awfully pleased with yourself, aren't you?  
Yep! And next time, **_**you **_***points to Margaret* get to star in the next FanFic!**

**Margaret: If it involves me getting a serious illness... no.**

**Don't worry! It'll be a **_**funny **_**story! *lowers voice down to happy mumble.* It'll involve you going on a sugaarrr rrruuusssshhh~**

**Margaret: Me going on a what?**

**Nothing, nothing~! Anyway, readers! Review!**


End file.
